KIOS: Parenting, Part 3c: Natural/Unmedicated Childbirth (more thoughts)

This post is part of my series, “Kickin’ It Old Skool: Why and How We Are Old-Fashioned” or KIOS for short.  If you’re new to the series, please read my disclaimer before continuing on.  I’m keeping a table of contents to this series here so you can see what I’ve already written about and what more there is to come. 

This is Part 3c. Here’s Part 3a, Part 3b , and Part 3d with more of my thoughts on this subject.

Thanks to many of you who have commented on this topic, both on the blog and by talking to me in person.  Through that feedback along with another blog post I’ve come across recently, I think there are more issues to touch on with this subject, which is why I’m revisiting it today (and will write at least more more post about the topic).

I wrote a disclaimer when I started this blog series because I wanted all my readers to understand my heart in writing these posts.  Specifically, I wrote:

I know that you are trying to do the very best for you and your loved ones.  I know that we all have hard decisions to make every day about how we spend our time and our money.   I know that every person is different and we may look at the same issue with the same information and still make two very different choices.

That’s OK.

My intent in writing this series is to put some information out there.  If it helps you, great!  If it piques your interest or gets you going on changing something that you’ve been wanting to change, great!  If you think, “Wow, that is weird and I would never do that,” great!

I link to this disclaimer at the beginning of every post and remind readers to read it if they haven’t already.  None-the-less, I think I need to specifically say a few things related to childbirth.

1.  I do not EVER look at a woman who chose to have an epidural with scorn or derision in my heart.  I usually don’t know the entire birth story.  I don’t know why she chose an epidural.  Honestly, I usually just hope that she was given the support and information she needed to make an informed decision about whether or not to have an epidural. And then I want to hear all about and hold her baby!!

2.  I most certainly do not consider myself more spiritual because I delivered a baby naturally.  We did what we knew to be the right thing for us but I do not presume to know what is right for every other family.  I’m frankly frustrated and saddened to hear that some women feel looked down upon because they chose to have an epidural.  Why do we do that to each other?  We mothers are not in a race to outshine each other with how strong/tough/amazing we are.

3.  That does not mean, however, that I think that advocacy is a negative thing.  Natural/unmedicated childbirth is a GOOD thing.  It’s something that needs to be championed.  We cannot hold back from advocating for what we believe to be the best because we’re afraid of hurting the feelings of those who have chosen another way.  If we do so, we risk never speaking out and risk the good being lost.

It is indeed a hard tightrope to walk between wanting to be considerate of others’ feelings on the one hand and on the other, knowing that it’s important to speak the truth.

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5 Responses to KIOS: Parenting, Part 3c: Natural/Unmedicated Childbirth (more thoughts)

  1. Pingback: KIOS: Parenting, Part 3d: Natural/Unmedicated Childbirth (even more thoughts) « Salmon and Souvlaki

  2. karynme says:

    I so appreciate the following sentence in your KIOS Disclaimer: “I know that every person is different and we may look at the same issue with the same information and still make two very different choices.” It’s such an important thing to remember as we work out doing our lives in our communities.

    That said, your point three in this post is key. Advocacy is important. Natural/unmedicated childbirth needs to be championed in order for it to continue being an option for women.

    I had to have a c-section with my first birth experience. It was life or death. Over the years I’ve talked with both my doctor and a local midwife at length as I’ve done my best to come to terms with having had a c-section. I know in my head my child is alive today because of medical intervention–for which I am thankful, but in my heart I still feel ripped off having not had the “natural birth experience”.

    In my part of the country, at the time of my second birth experience, it was not possible for me to attempt a vbac. Local hospitals’ policies wouldn’t allow for it. I would have needed to travel hours to find a hospital willing to let me labor–which wouldn’t be covered by my insurance. My other option was to attempt to find an unlicensed midwife willing to do a home birth, and with my past experience I wasn’t comfortable with going that route. And so I begrudgingly made the choice to have a second c-section.

    Anyway, my point is this… Due to advocacy, policies in my area have recently been changed. Both hospitals and licensed midwives, are now able to offer vbac options to women. Even though it won’t make a difference in my birth experiences, I am so happy people did speak out and things have been changed for future births.

    And, yes, talking about this subject is like walking a tightrope. 🙂

    • Laura says:

      Thank you so much for sharing your story Karyn. I know the VBAC discussion is a whole other topic that I won’t write about (having no personal experience with it) but that is so important. I’m so glad that women in your area have the option to have VBACs now, although it really is sad that ignorant polices kept you from attempting one. It’s good to know that advocacy in this area is doing some good!

  3. Pingback: KIOS: Parenting, Part 3a: Natural/Unmedicated Childbirth | Salmon and Souvlaki

  4. Pingback: KIOS: Parenting, Part 3b: Natural/Unmedicated Childbirth (continued) | Salmon and Souvlaki

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