This post is part of my series, “Kickin’ It Old Skool: Why and How We Are Old-Fashioned” or KIOS for short. If you’re new to the series, please read my disclaimer before continuing on. I’m keeping a table of contents to this series here so you can see what I’ve already written about and what more there is to come.
Thanks to many of you who have commented on this topic, both on the blog and by talking to me in person. Through that feedback along with another blog post I’ve come across recently, I think there are more issues to touch on with this subject, which is why I’m revisiting it today (and will write at least more more post about the topic).
I wrote a disclaimer when I started this blog series because I wanted all my readers to understand my heart in writing these posts. Specifically, I wrote:
I know that you are trying to do the very best for you and your loved ones. I know that we all have hard decisions to make every day about how we spend our time and our money. I know that every person is different and we may look at the same issue with the same information and still make two very different choices.
My intent in writing this series is to put some information out there. If it helps you, great! If it piques your interest or gets you going on changing something that you’ve been wanting to change, great! If you think, “Wow, that is weird and I would never do that,” great!
I link to this disclaimer at the beginning of every post and remind readers to read it if they haven’t already. None-the-less, I think I need to specifically say a few things related to childbirth.
1. I do not EVER look at a woman who chose to have an epidural with scorn or derision in my heart. I usually don’t know the entire birth story. I don’t know why she chose an epidural. Honestly, I usually just hope that she was given the support and information she needed to make an informed decision about whether or not to have an epidural. And then I want to hear all about and hold her baby!!
2. I most certainly do not consider myself more spiritual because I delivered a baby naturally. We did what we knew to be the right thing for us but I do not presume to know what is right for every other family. I’m frankly frustrated and saddened to hear that some women feel looked down upon because they chose to have an epidural. Why do we do that to each other? We mothers are not in a race to outshine each other with how strong/tough/amazing we are.
3. That does not mean, however, that I think that advocacy is a negative thing. Natural/unmedicated childbirth is a GOOD thing. It’s something that needs to be championed. We cannot hold back from advocating for what we believe to be the best because we’re afraid of hurting the feelings of those who have chosen another way. If we do so, we risk never speaking out and risk the good being lost.
It is indeed a hard tightrope to walk between wanting to be considerate of others’ feelings on the one hand and on the other, knowing that it’s important to speak the truth.