Procrastination, After All, Is But a Symptom

Here’s my list of what I’m currently procrastinating about:

1. Making dining room curtains (meant to have been done by the end of January)

2. Starting the “Kickin’ It Old Skool” blog series (meant to have been started last August)

3. Memorizing the book of Ephesians (meant to have the first 12 verses done, only done the first 3)

(That’s just to name a few.)

Yesterday, as I was walking with Ellie, I was trying to figure out why in the world I was having such a hard time getting myself going on these things.  I have the fabric for the curtains.  I know how to make Roman shades.  I have tons of thoughts in my head to type out here on the blog.  I made my cards to help me memorize those verses.  Really, there shouldn’t be anything stopping me from doing any of that.

Fear.

That’s really what it comes down to.

I’m afraid of failing.

I’m afraid of cutting into that gorgeous fabric and messing it up.  Alternately, I’m afraid that I’ll do everything right, we’ll hang them up, and decide that actually, that really expensive fabric that we’ve had for almost three years? ” It’s ugly, I made the wrong choice.”

I’m afraid of putting myself out there into the blog world with some of our non-mainstream lifestyle choices and either hurting other people’s feelings or getting negative feedback myself.

I’m afraid that trying to memorize a whole book of the Bible is too hard so why even start?

Procrastination is just me putting off stepping out into unknown territory.

So this week, I’m going to cut that fabric.  Or at least I’ll unroll it.  (That’s a start, right?)

I’ll work on memorizing Ephesians 1:4-7.

I’ll write at least the disclaimer for our KIOS series.

And hopefully, one of these days, I’ll learn that I don’t have to be afraid.

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8 Responses to Procrastination, After All, Is But a Symptom

  1. Mom says:

    Ah, Laura, such good self-awareness. More than that, I believe you heard what the Holy Spirit was telling you, and are choosing to obey. God is clear in His Word that He doesn’t want us to live in fear, which is a form of bondage. He has worked in me in this area over and over through the years, for which I’m so thankful!

  2. Zona says:

    This is my ‘for what it’s worth’ comment: I am eager to read your thoughts on living a simpler life, if the fabric doesn’t work, what is the worst that can happen, and if anyone scolds you for your opinion, theirs isn’t worth bothering about. And just the effort put into memorizing Ephesians blesses your Father’s heart. Reading it repeatedly, meditating on it, will change your life in beautiful ways, whether you can quote it perfectly or not.

    Did I ever share with you my motto for a year several years back (though it had to be extended for another year to finally make a difference in my behavior)? “Progress, Not Perfection”. That is what is important. Perfectionism is the enemy of progress. Compliments of the Fly Lady, http://flylady.net/.

    I am facing some fears in new ways right now, too. Facing fears honestly = growth.

    Grow, girl, grow! It’s really fun to watch.

  3. Nicole says:

    FYI, kind of a long-winded post.

    I read this yesterday and decided to sit on it for a while to digest some of what you’ve shared. This morning I decided it was necessary for me to insert my opinion(s). So here they are…

    1. You are living the life God gave you and doing what you feel is right. So, if that is going against the societal grain, so be it. We are not living life for others, we are living for God. He’s the only one who can judge us.
    2. Just like Zona mentioned above, no matter what you do to Glorify God, it is pleasing Him. Again, you are living a life that is pleasing to Him.
    3. Fear doesn’t come from the Lord. He would never want you to feel that because He desires more for you. He wants you to grow and not be held back from life. He is after your heart. If He is calling you to memorize Ephesians, only good can come out of that. Imagine how blessed you’ll be when you can share verse by verse to others!
    4. I know we do care what others think of us; however, don’t forget there are others out there who desire to live life by your example. And I will fully admit that I am one of those people who deeply admires how you and Nik live! You’ve opened me to a whole new world of thinking, when I thought I was pretty liberal already (in a conservative way, of course). Just the other day my sister called me “granola” because I chose to cloth diaper Sprout and make him or her wool soakers. So, if I choose to do things that are better for our Earth and ultimately, God’s kingdom, then bring on the Granola! I much prefer that then being a capitol waste.
    5. I think fear is one of those lessons that we overcome and it creeps back in when we least expect it. Don’t be discouraged by this, be encouraged that you are walking with the Lord through all of it and that is more than most people have. 🙂

  4. Laura says:

    Nicole, Zona, and Mom – Thank you so much for your wise, kind words for me. I am drinking in and thinking on what you’ve said, as I vacuum and otherwise go about my day! I appreciate the thoughtfulness and wisdom that you’ve shared with me.
    Love,
    Laura

  5. Mom says:

    Zona and Nicole – such good words! I especially like your #5, Nicole. I’m so thankful that our faithful God continues to teach us His ways through all our days.

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