Salmon and Souvlaki

Getting To Know You

Posted on January 15, 2013 by Laura

“Fingers!”

Posted in Ellie, Mark | 2 Comments

More Thoughts About Resting

Posted on January 15, 2013 by Laura

For the record, I didn’t even change out of my pajamas from Friday night until Monday morning. So I guess I’m doing an OK job of resting!

In thinking about what I wrote on Saturday about resting, I think it could easily be interpreted as me saying [in an annoyingly whiny voice], “Oh poor me, I have to rest. I have all this help around so I’m not even doing anything but I want to. Woe is me.” Or, it could be interpreted as me saying that I need to do the things I want to do because they’re not being done, either at all or to my satisfaction.

Neither of those things are true!

I am exceedingly grateful that Nik is able to be home for three weeks on paternity leave and that Nik’s mom, Tina, was able to be with us every day until Mark was 10 days old. I know that having this much help post-partum is an unfortunately-rare luxury for many (if not most) women. So really, me saying, “I want to do the dishes” is a luxurious thing to be able to say because I don’t have to do the dishes. (I did load the dishwasher last night though, an accomplishment of which I am very proud! :))

Rather, what I was trying (and am still trying) to figure out with what I wrote on Saturday is why it’s so hard for me to rest. Why do I feel this compulsion to work when I know (and believe) that resting is the best thing for me to do? I probably should separate sewing (for me, my creative outlet) from other more mundane tasks such as housework and cooking/baking. Ultimately though, I think it all comes down to the same root cause, which is how I measure my self-worth. What am I doing, every day, to make myself feel worthwhile? Why is making milk and nurturing my newborn and my two-year-old not enough? Why do I feel the need to also accomplish other things? Is this a positive or negative thing, to feel this way? I’m not sure.

Actually, since I wrote that blog post, I really haven’t felt the urge to sew or do anything else. So perhaps, just writing down and acknowledging my desires was permission enough for me to keep resting. Ellie currently has a cold and was sick last week too. Our sleep has been more fragmented than it would already have been and I continue to need a good nap every day. I’m looking forward to the day when I don’t nod off if I hold still for a few minutes.

So, for now, I’m just planning all my future sewing projects in my head, nursing a voracious newborn, nursing a 2-year-old who needs me just as much, feeling grateful every time I hear Nik cleaning up the kitchen (among the many other things he’s doing), and learning to be content where God has placed me.

Posted in Ellie, Mark, parenting, reflecting | 2 Comments

Mark, In Blue, For the First Time

Posted on January 12, 2013 by Laura

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Stats and Other Random Bits of Information

Posted on January 12, 2013 by Laura

1. Mark weighed 9 pounds, 6 ounces at his one-week doctor’s appointment. Hooray for passing his birth weight already! And hooray for a baby who is in LOVE with nursing!

2. I know you saw this picture already but I just wanted to point out that it was taken at 3:00 in the morning.

I’d say we look pretty awesome for it being 3:00 in the morning and just four and a half hours past an 18 hour labor. Also, note the boy blanket.

3. Ellie loves helping change Mark’s diapers. As in, it’s probably the most thrilling activity of the day. And lucky for her, we get to do it many times a day!!

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Resting Is Hard Work

Posted on January 12, 2013 by Laura

I first heard about the concept of a long rest period for a new mother in the article, “40 Days with Natalie“. When I read it many years ago, Nik and I were just newly engaged and I certainly wasn’t contemplating the nearness of motherhood. I saw the importance of the idea then. But now that I’m recuperating from pregnancy/labor/delivery with my second child, I agree more and more with the wisdom of this ancient tradition. Specifically, the article talks about the Eastern Orthodox tradition of a period of 40 days where the mother and newborn sequester themselves at home, expected only to rest, recuperate and bond. At the end of the 40 days, the mother and baby are welcomed into the church family with a special blessing and celebration. I’ve had the privilege of being part of two of these “40-Day blessings” (for my sister-in-law and nephews) and have always been struck by the power of the prayers – for protection for mother and baby and for them to be blessed and bless the world.

This tradition is not unique to the Orthodox faith. Many cultures around the world have some kind of resting period for new mothers, acknowledging that becoming a mother is hard work. Most doctors recommend that women wait six weeks (or basically 40 days) before resuming their normal activities. Clearly, it’s a good idea.

With Ellie, and now with Mark, we have tried to honor the spirit of the Greek tradition of the 40 days at home.. We’ve allowed ourselves to rest, to say that it’s OK to disengage from our normal lives for a time while we figure out what our new normal life will be. We’ve given ourselves permission to ask for help; to disengage for a time from our usual responsibilities at church and elsewhere. I have left the house but only for necessary appointments. I’m trying to rest, to remember that not that long ago, Mark was inside of me and it was hard work to get him out. I know this is important. I believe in it wholeheartedly. I’ve seen what happens when women don’t rest, don’t allow themselves to heal, don’t give themselves permission to be still, don’t stop pushing themselves.

And yet, I’m finding that the resting this time around is much harder than it was with Ellie. Even as my body continues to give me signs that I need to rest, my hands are itching to sew, to wash dishes, to vacuum (weird, I know), to not be pregnant or recuperating anymore, to do all that I want to be doing. I baked a ton of bread and bagels right before Mark came, in preparation for this resting time. We don’t need it but I still miss baking bread.

I miss having something tangible at the end of the day to be able to say, “I did that.” Making milk for two kids’ mouths and tummies is of utmost importance but (if I’m lucky) I never even see the milk I make! At least when you wash the dishes, you can see the clean dishes!

Of course, I think, “I really could do _______ today.” And then I’m lucky if I manage to take a shower and do maybe one other small thing – like call to schedule an appointment. So clearly, my brain is rushing ahead of my body in telling me to do all these things. Maybe that’s why I’m reading and blogging so much – I can do all of that sitting or lying down.

So I’m trying to be OK with resting because I know, I know, I need to rest. I know that in a month, I’ll be really grateful that I rested now because I’ll be so much better off than if I shortchange this process. But I’m not going to guarantee that I’ll be happy about resting all the time.

And I’m not going to guarantee that you won’t see any “January Sewing” blog updates because I just might not be able to help myself.

Posted in Mark, parenting, reflecting | 4 Comments

Nursing is A Lot More Fun When You Actually Get Some Milk

Posted on January 10, 2013 by Laura

Nursing with two has been an adventure already! My goal has been to only nurse one child at a time and so far, we’ve succeeded. A couple times, this has required some creative distraction but for the most part, our “Ellie nurses, Baby Mark nurses A LOT” mantra seems to have sunk in. Ellie has been relatively OK with seeing Baby Mark nursing without always wanting to be nursing herself.

When my milk came in a few days ago, Ellie was thrilled! She had been nursing dry for so many months that I doubt she even remembered that there had ever been milk. It was, and continues to be, a new and thrilling experience for her. Later that day, she was drinking a glass of cow’s milk with Yiayia and told her that the milk was very cold. She’s never noticed that before; clearly, she was comparing it to my milk!

When she does want to nurse, Ellie has been very clear about wanting her turn, often saying, “Switch! Baba, Baby Mark. Mama, Ellie.” As in, “hand that boy over, it’s my turn now!” She’s upped her nursing a little bit during the day but we’re trying to keep the number of times she nurses to a fairly predictable amount (typically waking up, going to sleep for nap, going to sleep for bedtime and usually once more). I particularly don’t want nursing to become a power struggle in which she demands to nurse and falls apart if I say no. So from the beginning, we’re working on having some fairly clear boundaries so she knows what to expect. That being said, this is also a hard, fragile time for her and I’ve been so grateful that I have the comfort of nursing to offer her when the changes seem overwhelming. We’re trying to hold both sides of the balance equation lightly and make our way forward.

Ellie has also been very useful in helping me regulate my milk supply. I haven’t had a significant problems with oversupply and the couple times that I’ve had too much milk, Ellie has been totally willing to help me out. This is one very useful side effect of having a nursing toddler! She’s definitely started to eat less solid food and is clearly replacing some of her solid food calories with liquid calories.

And enough about Ellie! Mark is a champion nurser, totally dedicated to consuming as many calories as possible. He definitely wants to eat at least every two hours, frequently more often than that. We always have a long cluster feeding session in the evening and often one in the morning too. He’s pretty good at latching; not perfect yet but infinitely better than his sister was at his age. We probably can credit a good portion of that to the fact that he was in utero for 10 days longer than Ellie and weighed a full 33% more than she did at birth. Last night, he finally seemed to accept that nighttime was nighttime and actually slept in 2-3 hour blocks, rather than wanting to eat all the time. I am also enjoying my reading-while-nursing time, knowing that once Yiayia and Baba are back at work, I won’t be doing much reading anymore!

So, that’s the view from a week in. All things considered, tandem nursing is awesome!

Posted in Ellie, Mark, nursing, parenting | Tagged tandem breastfeeding, tandem nursing | 8 Comments

Who Do You Think Is Having More Fun?

Posted on January 10, 2013 by Laura

Posted in Ellie, Mark | 2 Comments

Oh Yeah! We’re Famous!

Posted on January 8, 2013 by Laura

I just discovered that I made a list of “30 Blogs with Best Housekeeping Tips“.

Evidently, they liked my cleaning schedule from a KIOS post awhile back.

Now, I’m going to be rich and famous.

HOORAY! 🙂

Posted in cleaning, KIOS | 3 Comments

And The Moral Of The Story Is…

Posted on January 8, 2013 by Laura

Don’t believe everything the books (and midwives and everyone else in the whole world) say about the speed of second-baby labor.

I’m still processing through Mark’s labor and delivery and I’m sure I’ll type out his complete birth story at some point. But here’s the basic sketch of the timing: I was woken up at 4:00 am on 1/3/13 by contractions. I timed them myself for about an hour and they were coming close enough together that at 5:00 I woke up Nik. By 5:30, I called the midwives and we called Nik’s mom to come over to be with Ellie; by 6:00 they were coming quickly and strongly enough (for a second labor) to be told to drive in.

Keep in mind that here’s what we were told all through this pregnancy: “Second babies come really quickly.” “The women who have babies in the car are the ones who ignore their contractions.” “Ellie came so fast, your second baby is likely to come even faster.” “Make sure you call us right away when you have contractions.” So, being paranoid about having a baby in the car, we did what they told us to do.

At 6:30 we left and got to the birth center around 7:30. I didn’t think I was super far along (the contractions being not that bad) but an internal exam showed that I was only one centimeter dilated. ONE! NOTHING! AT ALL! At 10:30, I was 2 centimeters dilated. By 1:00, I was having contractions every three minutes. At 4:00, I was finally 5 centimeters dilated (meaning I’d officially reached active labor, as if nothing had been happening before then!). At 8:30, I was 8 centimeters dilated. At 10:00 pm, Nik and I decided the baby probably wasn’t going to be born until 1/4/13 or maybe not ever. At 10:10, my water broke. At 10:11, I started pushing and at 10:23 he was born, all 9 pounds, 4 ounces of him. I delivered the placenta by 10:30 and it was officially over, 18 and a half hours later.

Yesterday, I was looking at the midwife’s report that we were given for our pediatrician and on it was marked that I had prodromal labor throughout the beginning of the day. I was pretty sure I knew what that was but looked it up just to make sure. Basically, prodromal labor is lots of serious, real contractions without any progression to show for it. It can be really difficult and some women have this for days before they actually get to active labor and a baby. Thankfully, mine only lasted a few hours and really, I don’t think I had true prodromal labor because I did slowly but surely progress throughout the day. While looking up prodromal labor , I found this statement:

Know that even if there is a physical reason [for prodromal labor], such as the size or position of the baby, this is all the more reason why the baby needs undisturbed time to negotiate its way. (emphasis mine, from here)

Here’s what happened with Baby Mark – he was fairly optimally positioned for the last several weeks of pregnancy. But for some reason, right before he was born, he flipped himself onto his back so that he was posterior (OP) rather than anterior (OA). Had he stayed this way until he was born, my life would have been a WHOLE LOT HARDER, in terms of pain of contractions as well as difficulty in pushing. Part of what our nurse and midwife had us do while we were working towards birth was a lot of movement. I did lots of walking, pushing through contractions when I didn’t want to keep walking. I did lots of bouncing on an exercise ball. I walked more. I floated in the pool for awhile, which wasn’t so bad! All of this was designed to keep my pelvic area open through the contractions so that he could move if he wanted to. And praise the Lord, he did. He flipped himself back so that he was anterior by the time I got to transition (we think) and he was definitely in the correct position (facing down) when he came out.

I am supremely grateful to our midwife that she allowed me to labor as slowly as I did. I’m sure that had we been at a hospital, I would have been given Pitocin (or something else) to speed up my labor. Instead of rushing things, they helped me work hard to bring Mark into this world but didn’t force any interventions on us that could have potentially made things more difficult in the end. He clearly needed “undisturbed time to negotiate his way” and he took plenty of it. Our midwife told us that she thinks his labor took so long both because he was so big and also because of the way he was positioned. Not only was he posterior, but he was fairly high, meaning he wasn’t putting optimal pressure on my cervix to encourage it to dilate.

Mark definitely didn’t come out in the blazing fast manner that I was assured all 2nd babies did. Rather, he came out more like a first baby typically does. Ellie, conversely, came out so quickly and easily that her birth probably should just be classified as our “second baby” labor. I guess Mark figured I just had it too easy the first time and I needed to earn my “natural childbirth badge” for real with him. Let me assure you, I think Nik and I both earned them for real this time around!

Posted in Mark | Tagged natural childbirth, prodromal labor | 7 Comments