I have several friends who are either very new mamas of two or are getting ready to have their second, so I thought I’d share my “Top Ten Tips” for leaving the house by yourself (i.e. with no other adults) with two kids.  These mostly apply to when your second child is still very little.  I don’t follow all these rules anymore but they were very helpful to me in the beginning.

I also think these are all good rules to follow when you just have one newborn, with no big sibling!  They help you take care of yourself as well as your baby.

1.  Don’t leave the house!  In the very beginning, let yourself rest and stay at home as long as you can stand it.  If you can stay home for a month or more, you’ll most likely find that your first trip out is much easier.  Both you, your first born, and your new child need time to adjust to each other and your new world.  Your body needs to heal!  You need to rest!  So stay home!  Let other people do the shopping and errands for you.

2.  When you are ready to venture out, only make one stop.  It doesn’t even matter if the stores are right next to each other.  Just go to one place.  Get your toes wet in this whole “going out with two kids” thing.  Accomplish one errand, feel good about yourself, and then go home.  And that one stop?  Don’t let it be buying the groceries for two weeks!  Make sure it’s a small, easily accomplished task.

3. Plan your trip so that you can get out and back home again without needing to nurse.  This has two benefits – one, it ensures that you will plan a quick, easy trip and two, then you won’t get stuck nursing in some uncomfortable place for FOREVER while your newborn takes his good sweet time having a meal.

4. As we know, Step #3 never goes as planned (newborns are notorious for wanting to nurse all the time) so also have some kind of activity planned for the older sibling if you do need to nurse while you’re out.  A snack is always a good option.  Snacks and water for everyone – mama, big sibling, baby (OK, only milk for baby)! (That’s a bonus tip!)

5.  Wear your baby into the store and LEAVE THAT CAR SEAT IN THE CAR! Those infant car seats are SO heavy.  Besides, you’re going to need to have both hands free – one for the big sibling and one for your very small bag of stuff that you’ve bought (see #2).  Infant car seats are best left in the car, where they belong.  Also, never tell yourself, “I don’t need to wear my baby for this trip – it’s so quick, it’s not worth the trouble.”  Inevitably, this will be the errand where the “short” checkout line is super long or you have to get some help to find what you need and your back will ache and your arms will hurt and you will wish you hadn’t left your wrap/Ergo/Boba/whatever in the car.  It’s worth the extra two minutes to strap your baby on.

6.  When getting into the car, let your older child get in and close the door on that side.  Then, strap your baby into his/her car seat.  Then go back to the other side to strap in the big kid.  This keeps the big kid contained long enough to strap in the baby! (Remember, you should be leaving that infant car seat in the car – it’s far too heavy for you to be carrying when your body is still recovering from pregnancy and childbirth.)

7.  When getting out of the car, get the big kid out first, then your stuff (like the diaper bag), then put on your carrier/wrap/etc., and then strap the baby on.  I know that then you have to keep track of the big kid while you get out the baby, but I find it difficult to lean into the car once I have my baby strapped on me.  You could unbuckle the big kid but leave him/her in the car until you have the other baby and stuff ready to go.

8.  Don’t leave your keys in the car if your big kid is not strapped in and you have the kind of locks that lock all four doors if one of them is pushed down.  Thankfully, this has not happened to me but I have nightmares of it happening.  I try to keep my keys in my pocket or hand at all times or sometimes I put them in the door handle of the kid I’m buckling in.  I especially worry about this on hot days.

9.  Ask for help if you need it.  People are amazingly kind when they see a mom with a toddler and a newborn.  Take advantage of this!  Ask for help!!  It will make other people happy to help you!

10.  Make your first trip out a fun one for everyone.  Choose a fun place to go – even if it’s just to Trader Joe’s to use the little shopping cart.  Or treat yourself to something delicious while you’re out.  You could share a hot chocolate with your two-year-old daughter and enjoy it so much that you forget about the time and then realize when you’re getting in the car that your six-week-old son needs to nurse and then get stuck in your car for 20 minutes while your newborn nurses and your two-year-old complains about being hungry and you’re hungry too and everyone is grumpy.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you! (And yes, that pretty much sums up our first shopping experience after Mark was born – all of these rules are born out of personal experience!)

And, before you know it, your newborn will be a big grown up baby and shopping with two will be just about as easy as shopping with one.  Hooray!

not pulling up yet but definitely wanting to stand if we put him there! 🙂